Christian help on dating
We believe that love, peace, and joy will flood into our lives and give us our “happily ever after.” Falling in love and being in love is awesome, but if we think a relationship is what will save us from loneliness, low self-esteem, and purposelessness, we’re just wrong.
When we stop looking to a relationship to be the key that will unlock the potential of our lives, we open up space for healthy relationships to emerge into what they are meant to be. “Christians should only date Christians.” That opinion is repeated in countless books on Christian dating, and yet from my point of view it’s just not a helpful way of approaching things.This is not a list where it’s all or nothing—that is, in order to be a disciple, all of these ideas need to be in place.It’s important to remember that discipleship is a process and a journey.The statement is clearly well-intended, but like many things within the church the attempt to simplify in order to communicate things clearly has created new problems.For example, the overly simplistic categories of Christian and non-Christian can be an enormous stumbling block. non-Christians, we can quickly (and mistakenly) substitute “people who go to church” with “Christian” and unintentionally lower our standards to anyone who shows up to church on Sunday. Over the years, I’ve put together a list of what I consider to be the top relationship advice for dating Christians (or those interested in dating).
The list has emerged through countless conversations and discussions, and offers some great ground-level wisdom on how the call of discipleship should steer our journey through romantic relationships.
He needs to stay central for us regardless of whether we’re single, dating, or married.
Relationships flourish when Jesus and His kingdom are the priority of both people, but falter when they aren’t.
To enter into any relationship with the expectation that it will be the key to a happy life is to place an idolatrous, unhealthy, and unrealistic expectation on it.
This expectation will only suffocate any potential for the relationship to grow in a healthy way.
Knowing Jesus intimately is critical if we want to know what authentic, life-giving expressions of love, sex, and relationships look like.