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A second issue for a marriage is that one partner turns to the internet for flirting and sexual excitement rather than to their partner.

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You might benefit from going to counselling especially if you feel traumatised and need to the help of an impartial listener to process some of the feelings.ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people.Take some time out together You can also take action at home to improve your marriage on a daily basis.For example you can prioritise a daily talking time with your husband when you share how each of you are doing.Such intimacy is built on communication and friendship and leads to deep affection and a satisfying sex life.

However, creating this intimacy is hard work and much harder than the easy escapism of the internet or watching TV or even over-working or domestic chores.

Of course your husband should not blame you and he must take responsibility for how he has hurt you with his online behaviour, but the two of you must take responsibility for improving the marriage.

Though it may be painful, the fact that you have started talking about issues is a good sign.

This should be time you have alone perhaps when the children are in bed and to make sure it is distraction free (with the computer and TV turned off).

In addition, try to have at least one special evening a week when you get a baby-sitter when you can do some new things together. The biggest prize of a successful marriage is closeness and intimacy – which allow a couple to accept and support one another on a deep level.

To move forward, it is important that you continue to talk to your husband and try to understand the extent of his difficulties and what the underlying issues are for him.